Thursday Sep 9

Archive for June, 2007

Jun
11/07
Coffee Date & Spiritual Reflection
Last Updated on Monday, 11 June 2007 06:00
Written by Melinda
Monday, June 11th, 2007

I haven’t had a date in fifteen years. What?!? Is that right? Have I forgotten how to add and subtract, or is that accurate? Yes its true… but yesterday I had a “coffee date”. This is a huge transition in my life. I’m scared! Yet excited! Yet it brings up a world of emotions that I never thought I would have to deal with.

I ask myself, was I overweight because it was my way of keeping people away from me? Some sort of safety blanket that provided me with a comfortable excuse as to why there was no one in my life… and after all these years, I have to deal with the real reason I was overweight to begin with? Hmm, something to ponder.

I am not sure what the answer is, but how can I be so unhappy right now when I have lost 117 lbs, have met my surgeon’s goal, and only 4 lbs away from my own personal goal? I feel better health wise, and have more energy. But why am I tired of dealing with this emotional side? Just another part of the process that we must go through.

**I’ve shared my thoughts, good, bad and ugly, throughout the journey. I am also going to share something of a spiritual and personal nature. Though I am not trying to change or sway anyone’s opinion toward religion, I do feel that spirituality is a part of what completes us… But the purpose of this is to keep my journal entact.

Here it is for 6/11/07 as I journaled during my lunch hour.Things are going pretty smooth today. I’ve been listening to my Rita Springer worship cd every day and the song “Joy Overflowing” really soothes my soul. I’ve done some soul searching these past few days and come to a conclusion. Out of nowhere there came this intense longing for companionship. And because I didn’t have it, I judged myself as ugly, unworthy, as if something is wrong with me. But why all of a sudden did I feel that I needed a man’s company in my life to fulfill and complete me? This goes against all of my rational thoughts and ideas! I think it had to do with something else that I am lacking… and until I get this within my grasp or reach, nothing will fulfill me or cause me to feel content. I’m talking about my relationship with the Creator – whom I have been drifting away from for quite some time.

There is a pocket of emptiness in me, a gaping hole that I long to fill. And each time I listen to the words of Rita Springer’s song, I long to be filled with His presence. The words are “Fill us with joy overflowing, with peace overflowing, withi love overflowing, with all of your glory.” And while simple, they have become my prayer. I want to have a healthy relationship with God. I don’t want to be overly religious. I want to love Him and have my life evolve around Him, but not as a crutch or excuse to “not” do things, “not” enjoy life, and surely “not” to use as an excuse “not” to live! I’m ready for new adventures (and I’m not talking about sinful ones). I want to do things. I want to laugh, play, live, love. I don’t know how YET. But I am trying to find ways, to try new things.I want to be content again. I want to know that my heart is satisfied. I don’t want to go through life always seeking for that thing which will fill me up but never finding.

Melinda, (I talk to myself a lot) you have too many experiences of times He has come through for you to not serve Him, to not love Him, to not gain your contentment in Him. You know that you need Him, and that where sin is in your life, God’s grace is able to reach it. He is able to forgive and cleanse it. He loves you with an everlasting love that no one can take away. Nothing you can say or do will make him love you less. He knows the desires of your heart, even if you are confused.

God has a divine plan for you. He sees the years that you have invested, and it’s His plan and desire to bless you. But He’s waiting on you to align your will to His will. He’s asking you today, “What are you going to do? Who are you going to serve?” He wants the very best for you, and yet He will not violate your will and force you to choose Him. He stands, waiting, longing, hoping, anticipating your return. He’s missed your voice, your passion, your joy, your smile, how you shared every pain, every agony, every thing you longed for, you shared with Him. So He stands waiting for His daughter to return, to run hard and fast toward Him and jump into His arms. Do you sense His arms outstretched? Can you feel the warmth of His light upon your face as He directly gazes upon you? The eyes of the Lord search to and fro throughout the earth, and Melinda today His gaze has fixed upon you. Of all people He could have chosen, it’s you.Jesus, yes its you I want and desire.

I remember the years that you completed me. You were all I ever wanted. You comforted me like no one else could or did. You touched the darkest recesses of my soul that no one else could. I did give you all my troubles, pain, sadness and disappointments. The hurting little girl, so fragile and sensitive, cried alone in the dark. And yet, at some point, she (I) found that she (I) was never quite alone as she (I) thought. That little sensitive girl waited for you there in the dark, a friend and father you became. A comforter, a provider of all things good. When you touched her (my) heart as a young teen, you purified her (my) heart. Yes, the same heart that should have been pure and untainted, but wasn’t due to fallen man and capacity for sin.

You cleansed the young teen’s (my) heart just as you cleansed the worst sinner’s. Just as today, you cleanse this young woman’s (my) heart once again, as many times before. Touch it deeply, touch it passionately, touch it gently Lord. Cause it to be healed. Lord, no one else knows my heart like You. They may perceive things that are fallacies and judge me accordingly, but you Lord see it like no other. You know the evil that its capable of, the corruption it has or can experience if it wasn’t for your saving hand of mercy. You also know the potential and desire to be full of your goodness, to love, to help others.

Lord, help me to become more like you. Turn my sorrow into celebration and rejoicing. Turn my cold neutrality into a blazing fire burning brightly again. Place a sense in me which says, “Melinda, you cannot just settle. You must be in God’s will.” Thank you for never leaving or forsaking or letting go… for never giving up on me.

Posted under Relationships  |  Comments  No Comments
Jun
07/07
Body Dysmorphia
Last Updated on Thursday, 7 June 2007 06:00
Written by Melinda
Thursday, June 7th, 2007

I want to talk a little about the changes in my life. Not just physical, though I have lost a total of 116 lbs. I’ve been struggling with the emotional and mental side of weight loss. I look in the mirror, and see that terrible hanging tummy and feel like “Will this ever go away? Is it fat? Can I lose it? Or is it skin? Can it be cut off? Will insurance cover any of it?” On and on the questions come.

Then there’s the issue of relationships, or moreso the fact that I don’t have one. And if I were to meet someone, what on earth would he say at the first sight of my body? Would he scream in fright upon seeing my body and run the opposite direction? Who am I kidding?  Sometimes I want to respond that way when I look in the mirror! I am not able to look at myself and be fully accepting of my appearance.  Nor do I see someone pretty.

Last week I asked Mike to take an updated picture for my avatar. I saw it and didn’t like it. But, my reaction will probably surprise you.  I thought “Gosh I’m skinny. I look sick”  I never had an idea of what I was going to look like after losing all the weight. I tried, but never could get the mental picture. Now, I don’t have to try, I just merely have to look at the photo. Why the discontent? I’m confused. Frustrated.Then there’s the issue, “Who am I?”

I believed certain things about myself. But now, I feel like so much of what I thought was a lie, or built on misconceptions about myself. Kind of like I thought I had built my house on a solid rock, only to find that its built on sand. Flood waters came and my house fell down onto the ground. Now I stand admist the rubble, disappointed and not knowing where to begin rebuilding or cleaning up.I long to be healthy on the inside, just a my body is on the outside.

I want to have a positive self image, neither too fat nor too skinny. I want to believe that others think good thoughts toward me. Instead I wonder, are they watching my every bite? When I tell someone that I’m in a size 6 pant, do they think I must be lying? After all, even I think I’m lying. Or dreaming. So here I am wanting to know who I am, wondering how to cope with all of these changes, be comfortable in my own skin, but that’s not happening too fast. I haven’t really heard other people speaking of these things. Do all people experience these emotions? Why not talk about it, to help those of us who are struggling, to make it ok/normal to go through it… just my thought provoking journal session for the day.

Posted under Plastic Surgery  |  Comments  No Comments
Jun
02/07
Work, Counseling, Men
Last Updated on Saturday, 2 June 2007 06:00
Written by Melinda
Saturday, June 2nd, 2007

Almost every aspect of my life has been affected by weight loss surgery, my job included.  More specifically, the relationships with my co-workers have changed.  They see the rapid changes occurring in my life and feel it acceptable to offer their opinions and advice.  I know some of them mean well, but it really wears me down.  Due to some transitions with my job, I am still looking for a new one.  I believe the right one is out there waiting for me. But for some reason, its not time to find it yet. God has a plan and I am trying my best to trust Him.

Counseling is going good. I see a therapist every few weeks or months in order to deal with the adjustments in my life.  My mind is starting to embrace the idea that I am no longer 251 lbs and morbidly obese. I thought that I would be able the fact I’m no longer obese as people pay the hugest compliments. But years of obesity have taken its toll not only physically but mentally as well. 

I have been looking around at cute guys lately!  I feel that I am ready for a relationship and get that aspect of my life started. I never imagined being at this point. Prior to surgery, I never anticipated getting married or dating. I hated myself, was too fat and frankly didn’t allow myself to think on it so I would not be disappointed.Life is bringing many new things my way, and I am content & happy. Each day I am so thankful for this surgery and it has really made my life better.

Posted under Reality Check  |  Comments  No Comments