Written by Melinda
Monday, July 30th, 2007
Ever feel like your life is controlled by the clapper? Remember the commercial where the person claps their hands, and the lights come on? Then they clap again, the lights go off? Well that’s somewhat how I feel about my recent breakup with the first person I dated. Break on (clap), Break off (clap).
So we are officially over now. It happened in the hospital. I had been talking via email with a new person for about a month, and last Saturday he finally asked to meet in person. Now, this wasn’t a complete stranger as we both have a mutual friend from our past. We met at Starbucks at 8 am and were there until 12:45. It was an enjoyable visit. I just felt like I knew him forever and he was so easy to talk to. Now I didn’t know how to perceive his thoughts… but I would soon find out. Keep in mind this was Saturday.
Now early (2:30) Monday morning I had to go to the emergency room for gall bladder problems. I had agreed to meet Tim (the new guy) for lunch on Weds. So from my hospital bed on Tuesday, I called him to say “I can’t meet you on Weds. I’m in the hospital.” He asked where I was, got my phone number at the room, and asked for permission to come see me. Of course, I said, NO very quickly. First, I felt terrible and hadn’t had a shower in several days. Second, my old boyfriend was there from the time he got off work until about 9:30 pm each night. I did not want to encounter that situation.
So Weds. I had a flower delivery. It was a beautiful arrangement of yellow roses, and they still had the moisture on the petals. Beautiful, beautiful. The card said, “Smile, someone is thinking of you.” (Come on, you wanted to ask!) That evening, I finally had a talk with the old boyfriend and he left. I called Tim and asked would he like to come visit. He said, sure I can come tomorrow. I said, I thought you would come over tonight. So within 15 minutes he was there. And, I never dreamed that you could develop a relationship with a guy while you are recovering from not just one, but two gallbladder surgeries!?
He asked me each day if he could come visit. He at times sat quietly, and I drifted off to sleep so he and my mother would talk about different things. He came to visit me at my parents’ house the day I left the hospital. And he always asks permission, or asks if I’m tired and need the time alone. But things are going very very very slowly. I learned a few lessons the first go around and realized that I have a lot to enjoy, lots to catch up on, and I am still finding out who I am…. and at times, who I am not.
Some would read my profile and say Good Lord Woman! make up your mind! lol. But the journey is sometimes a confusing one. It makes you question your identity, who you are and what you want out of life. I found out that change is not always a bad thing. It can be enlightening, exciting and yet at the same time, exasperating. But, it has made my life worth living.
