Archive for July, 2008

I was never a party goer. If/when invited to events, I didn’t respond. I never led people on that I would attend. I usually just made a reason that I perhaps could not be present due to other obligations. I was never one to attend baby or wedding showers, housewarming parties or birthday parties unless that person was very close and I knew that they EXPECTED me to be there. In other words, if it would offend them by my lack of attendance, I felt I had to go.

I never attended my high school prom. I never had cap and gown or senior pictures taken. I did attend two Junior High dances and felt completely out of my element. It was just something I never did. My “social skills” were not developed and I don’t have the ease and flair in which other women seem to possess when it comes to socializing and conversation.

Last night I attended an RSVP event hosted by a vendor of services through my place of employment. There were approximately 8 co-workers who attended as well. I arrived promptly at 4:27 (event started at 4:30) surely believing that I would not be the very first guest. Wrong! I’ve never had a valet park my car, so naturally I was nervous. I felt strange letting someone else park my car, especially when the ticket said, “Complimentary valet parking.” But do you still tip the guy? Who knows? I need to watch Martha Stewart or read Hints From Heloise! Luckily, I was so early that the valets had not yet arrived. I parked my own car, which meant I avoided this social issue! Whew! Wiped sweat off my face on that one!

When I arrived, a server asked if I would like a glass of wine. Now, I have not the first clue of what to say. There is one wine I like. The type, brand and name failed to come into my terrible memory. I leaned over and whispered, “I’m not sure what its called, but its very wet, light, fruity and sweet.” (I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman in the restaurant scene… she in her beautiful dress trying to eat her clams?)  The waiter brought back Chardonnay. It wasn’t my pick, but I held it in my hand and watched how others held their glasses. I tried to mock them. Just then, the representative who hand delivered our invitations approached and we spent a few minutes talking, then introductions made to her co-workers. I felt comfortable in the confines of someone I had met before! I felt apprehensive for the moment when she would go on to others, and I would be left alone waiting on my co-workers.

The chardonnay glass was half full (Hmmm, does that mean I am an optimist? Cause I didn’t say the glass was half empty!?) and I ended up carrying it with me all evening (approximately 3 hours). It was 1/4 full when I finally laid it on the server’s table to remove as trash. As you know, it does not take very much for an RNY patient to feel the effects of even 3 sips of any alcoholic beverage. I sipped very small tiny sips, and then was introduced to the owner of the company, a very handsome young professional business man. While we won’t get into the past issues of my not being able to hold eye contact, let alone a conversation with men, the issue at hand was the fact that I was starting to feel a little lightheaded from my 3 sips! He chatted with me, I nodded and smiled. I was thinking all the while, “If Tim was here, I would probably look over, laugh and say “guess what?” He’s respond “You’re drunk?” and we would both hoot in laughter. At least that’s how it plays out when I drink my sugar free margarita!

The evening went on. I chatted with my co-workers, enjoyed two small saucers of food throughout the evening. All were gastric friendly EXCEPT the chocolate cake which I had one bite of, then later ate the icing out which equated to 1 tblsp. The cake, well that didn’t appeal to me. The icing, OH MY HEAVENS! I flirted with the waiter standing behind the food table. I laughed, I smiled. I talked. The only thing missing was a dance. That would have made the evening perfect. Just perfect. There was music, no dancing. I don’t know how to dance, so maybe the evening was exactly my kind of perfect after all.

I met a few people that I knew from other employments. We chatted. A few co-workers commented on it being the most food they have ever seen me eat. That’s cause they’re never around when I eat! It felt good to feel part of something. I felt accepted, normal, like I never had “issues” before. On the way home, I called Tim and talked, and talked, and talked. I told him all about the jumbo shrimp that were the best I had ever eaten. I told him all about the cake, and how huge it was, the biggest chocolate cake I ever saw and how one bite was heaven. He heard about my co-workers and how we enjoyed it so much that we are attending another event next week and possibly going out to supper one night. Once I did arrive home, I continued my neverending saga as I did not want the awesome night to end.

My parents are part of the generation that I call “kitchen table people.”  By this, I mean that they made time to have friends over for coffee.  Usually the adults stayed in the kitchen and sat around the table, laughing, talking, sharing stories.  It always seemed like fun, and I wanted to be right in the middle of it.  I loved hearing my father talk about his military experiences and the jokes they played on their higher ranking officers.  Mom talked a lot about her family (there are like 7 siblings).  

As I’ve grown up, I associate myself with the “living room generation.”  Mostly, we have moved out of the comfort zone of the kitchen and want a more relaxed atmosphere.  I believe this is made evident at places such as Starbucks, where the cold tables and chairs have been replaced with oversized couches, ottomans and chairs accompanied by end tables and lamps.  We love sitting around chatting with our friends just as my parents did, only the surroundings are different.  We want cushy, comfortable, warm and cozy. 

Another dynamic for me is that Tim is my first serious relationship and the first opportunity to do “couples” stuff such as meeting other couples for dinner or coffee.  I always wondered what that experience would be like.  These past few months, I’ve had several chances to find out.  I’ve met some neat people through my gastric community connections.  Sometimes you just “click” with others and know immediately that you have the capacity to build a great friendship. But goodness, time flies so quickly, and people are busy!  So it really takes a lot of effort to get together and visit anymore.

One couple in particular, we’ve become friends with. Wednesday evening we met them at Longhorn’s (and hey, ya gotta be a good friend for me & Tim to share our Longhorn experience!).  Afterwards, us gals went to Target for clothes shopping and the guys seemed to just go off to electronics, books, magazines, and videos.  We were in the ladies section hunting the bargains like there was no tomorrow!

It’s nice to have people that you can confide in, share experiences, and talk over a nice evening supper.