*This is not me, of course! But a graphic I pulled from the MK site…  I must add, results may vary!

Saturday I got a makeover.  My friend and former co-worker, Jan, came over to my house to show me and my mother the new Mary Kay products.  It’s been such a long time since I’ve used Mary Kay.  Seeing that my mother came in “full face”, it was only natural that I was the makeover volunteer.  But, it was fun!  Afterward, Tim, Jan and I went out for supper at Olive Garden..  I love being with Jan.  She is one of, if not the most creative individuals that I have ever had as a friend.  As a matter of fact, she has written seven complete novels and has several others “in the works”.  She’s not been officially published but has self published two books. 

I told Tim that Jan can envision a character in her mind, make up an entire story as if he/she was a real living creature, and make up stories on the spot about the character’s life and happenings.  I asked her to talk a little about her books, and Tim was enthralled.  Later after we got home, he said, “You interrupted her, and she did not get to finish the story!”  I said, “No, I did not interrupt her.  She was done telling you the story and now you have to buy and read the book!”  Not only does she write, she paints.  Several years ago, she gave me a gift.  It was a watercolor painting of my two Pomeranians, Kobe and FooFoo.  I have it hanging up in my office at work.  It’s on the wall right behind me at this very moment.  I’ve had many people ask about the painting, and fondly I recall, “A dear friend of mine, Jan, painted that picture for me.”  Isn’t it nice to have friends? 

Jan has meant a lot to me over the past six years that I have known her.  She’s been somewhat like a second momma to me….  a mom away from mom, I guess you could say.  There are not too many people I say that about…  oh sure, there are women who claim to be close to every single person who comes into their lives.  But I am not one of those folks.  When I say a person is close to me, they really are…  and it has taken a lot of time and observance for me to gain the level of respect before I claim someone is near and dear to me.  Jan, she has definitely earned the respect of many because of her perseverance, talent, and just plain being a wonderful friend. 

So, $150 later…  and a skincare line to help me be BEAUTIFIED, here I sit blogging about my Saturday makeover.  I’ve always taken good care of my skin, and to be honest, I really think it shows.  I don’t think I look 39 years old!  I have always believed in taking good care (cleansing, moisturizing and painting up the barn!) of my skin.  But, these past few years I have not spent a lot on product.  Mostly, I’ve stuck with Olay brand cleansers and moisturizers but they haven’t really done the trick.  Since Saturday, I have faithfully used my new Mary Kay products and plan on cleaning out my closet tonight. 

Now this is an opinion!  But, I believe that it would do every woman good to get a makeover at least once in her lifetime.  It’s a wonderful opportunity to pamper yourself, to have someone show you how to take care of your skin, and besides, it’s nice to get all dolled up and take a night out on the town.  And if you don’t like it, you can always wash it off.  It’s not permanent!  You just might be suprised at how different you look while in new makeup, different colors, etc.  Live a little!  Experiment!  Hey, it’s free!  Even most mall department stores give free makeovers!  Or, if you don’t want the real deal, go to Mary Kay’s virtual makeover.  I tried this too.  It was fun! (Secret:  it’s free too!)

Every day of my life, I have to call my mother.  If I don’t, she calls me and her question is:  “Did you oversleep today?”  She worries that I won’t get out of bed, or to work on time…  this has been an ongoing concern of hers since I was out on my own and had a job.  She’s a mother and that’s what mother’s do:  worry!  So….  this morning I called her, we chatted…  and then she says, “You haven’t blogged much lately.”

“I’m depressed.” was my response.  Normally, when I am PMS’ing, I stay far away from my button that says “ADD ARTICLE” because I’ve been known to spew out some pretty depressing thoughts.  Or, sometimes the thoughts can be clouded by facetiousness, or just plain ranting and raving if my hormones are REALLY raging!  So, I haven’t felt like blogging.

So in an effort to “catch up” or keep current… I thought I would ramble on a bit.  What is on my mind today.  Let’s see.  Weight loss surgery is not a cure all.  It’s not a magic operation that suddenly makes everything good as gold.  It doesn’t take an upside down smiley face and turn it right side up with “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” playing in the background.  OH Yes!  I blog a lot about how my life has changed, and how much I love my wls.  And all the things that it has afforded to me.

There are also times I just plain feel lousy.  Like crapola with a capitol C.  I still take antidepressants.  I still struggle with depression for apparently no reason at all.  Heck, I’ve been in counseling…  I’ve taken antidepressants.  I’ve done my soul searching.  And come to the conclusion that there’s no circumstances causing me to be depressed…  no unresolved past life issues…  for whatever reason, it is what it is….

Most days I can just pull myself out of it, and then the other remaining days, I fake it.  Paste that big ole smile on and pretend until those gloomy feelings go away and hope that they stay gone longer this time.  I’m all for finding the good and being positive.  But you know what.  SOMETIMES YOU JUST FEEL LIKE CRAP. Plain and simple.  And when you feel like that, not even a durn can of Lysol is gonna make you smell any better.

What else?  Let’s see.  It’s Friday!  Now that is a great reason to celebrate!  I believe every Friday should be labeled GOOD FRIDAY.  It does not matter how tired or sick or depressed I am…  for some reason at 3:30 every Friday when I punch my time card “out”, I have a renewed second wind and ready to take on the world… until Monday morning!  Tonight’s plans?  Tim & I are meeting some friends for dinner, one of those Japanese Hibachi grills.  I’ve been wanting to go for awhile now and I can’t wait.  I love stir fry.  I love chicken.  Heck, I might even take a few bites of Tim’s fried rice.  OH DEAR GOD, did I just admit that in public? Ooops.  I know some people don’t like to hear me talk like that because rice is anti-weight loss surgery…  maybe, just maybe rice is the wls anti-Christ.  I dunno.  But yes occasionally I want some fried rice with my stir fry.  I hope I can try some sushi.

Tomorrow, I am having a Mary Kay demonstration at my house.  My mom is coming, and we are getting makeovers.  Now, that means that Tim must take me out somewhere really nice tomorrow evening because my makeup will be freshly applied, correctly maneuvered to hide every flaw, my skin will be all dosed up good with moisturizer, and I will just look smashing, dah-lins!  Tim actually wanted to spend the day at the lake on the boat tomorrow, but I had these plans for a few weeks now and did not want to cancel on my friend (the MK host).  She’s a sweet lady, former co-worker, and I am anxious to see her.  I wish you all could meet her.  She is as close to a southern belle, a true southern lady, as you will ever find.  Those are my ramblings for today…  so if you don’t see me for a few more days, just know that I’m playing a waiting game…  trying to ride out these stupid “blahs”.

Last Weds. we left Nashville and headed for Gulf Shores, Alabama.  Gosh, I hate to travel.  I only like the first forty-five minutes because on the way out of town, we always stop for breakfast somewhere.  But the remaining six or so hours…  let’s just say I am glad that I was tired from staying up late packing the night before so I could sleep quite a ways.  I absolutely LOVED vacation this year! Surprisingly enough, I realized that I only need TWO outfits next year:  my swimsuit, and the new jersey cotton t-shirt vneck dress that I purchased at Ross for $16.  That was the most comfortable dress I have ever worn!  I tried to wear it in my own local hometown…  only my mother asked, “Is that your nightgown?  Whatchya got yer nightgown on for?”  Sigh.  I guess when in Rome, do as the Romans do.  When in Tennessee, wear the same clothes that Tennesseans wear…  on the street that is.

Well I guess I do have an interesting piece of news or event to share with you.  We arrived Weds. evening and stopped in at the drug store to pick up some last minute items.  I purchased a bottle of my favorite Korbel Brut for us to drink through the week.  I knew that we would have to pour out the rest on Saturday because we were going home, so Friday afternoon I decided to enjoy a half glass.  I was blogging, watching television, drinking on my glass of Korbel…  and then we started discussing our eating plans.  Tim said, “You need to get ready….” because it takes me a lot longer than it does him!  I have one of those large barrell Revlon curling irons that have the number temperature dial (that goes into the twenties).  Those suckers get REALLY hot!  (Ask me how I know!)  I was curling my hair and well…  the effects of that little bit of alcohol had not worn off yet.  I was a little clumsy and dropped the BURNING curling iron…  ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY FACE.  Yes, I now have a long bright red burn mark on my cheek.  I told Tim what happened, and he said, “Alcohol and curling irons do not mix.”  Note to self:  do not operate heavy or HOT machinery while drinking.

What else can I tell you?  I enjoyed the beach so much!  There is just something about looking out your balcony window and seeing nothing but water for miles and miles…  its hard to believe that there is land on the other side because it looks like you are going to fall off the earth should you get out that far!  I loved to listen to the waves in the ocean when I laid out at the beach.  It was soothing, and made me want to go to sleep.  I laid out on a blanket but it was just too hot on the ground…  at least sitting in the chair, I could get the wind blowing on me.

Once we arrived home to Tennessee, there was no breeze.  Just hot temperatures, no air.  I about burned up!  Yesterday after church services, Tim & I went to Mike’s house and swam in the pool.  (The joke was that we all had to go lay out at the pool to get a tan so that it would look like we had gone on vacation).  I use 30 spf and hardly got sun at the beach.  I am so fair complected, and because of a childhood sunburn, I do not sunbathe.  I am very protective of my skin.

Now for my observations.  This has to do with people watching.  I saw a very tall lady at the beach, she was fairly large but probably not a “wls candidate” because she was so tall.  She needed to lose maybe 50 lbs.  She had all her clothes on, and gosh it was hot!  I could tell she was self conscious about her weight.  I just wanted to say (but I NEVER WOULD in a million years) “Honey, you just go put your bathing suit on!  It’s too hot out here to worry about what you look like!”  I would not care if she had stripped down to a bra and panties if that would have cooled her down in that heat!!  But then later…  and how ironic…  as I walked down the beach, I felt self conscious too wondering, “Do people see my inner thighs rub together?  Do they see saggy skin?”  Now you know not a soul in the world was caring what my legs looked like!  They were too busy sunning themselves and playing in the water.  So I guess I should have taken my own advice to the woman who kept all her clothes on…  “It’s too hot out here to worry about what you look like!”

I saw another lady who looked to be in her late 20s.  She was so sickly thin.  You could see her ribs, every bone in her body.  It was so sad.  I wish you could have seen this young lady.  Her legs looked like thin toothpicks, and I just about burst into tears wondering what this person’s life was like.  Was she sick?  Did she have an eating disorder?  Did she loathe her body and try to look skinnier?  Or had some kind of health problem caused her to be so underweight?  My mind was full of questions.  I tried hard not to stare, because I do know what it’s like to have people staring at me for how much I weigh.  There isn’t a difference, is there?  There is not a difference if someone stares at me for being obese, and if I stare at someone else for being so sickly thin?  I don’t think that there is much difference…  it’s just that one is large, one is small.  I couldn’t help but feel sad and I mentioned it to Tim and Mike.  Tim said, “Well, you think she’s too skinny.  She probably sees you and thinks, “Gosh she’s fat.”  Yes that very well could be true.

I guess that is enough of my thoughts from the vacation.  It was back to work today…  and I wanted to call in sick.  But I figured, I’d rather work the rest of the days of the year, be at my job than to have a permanent vacation!