Archive for August, 2009

…No, I’m not talking Chevy trucks.  I’m making reference to the piece of bread that got stuck in my chest last night around 6:30.  I had a chat room meeting at 8:00, so I decided to eat a piece of toasted with butter piece of Julian Bread.  I ate it entirely too fast, didn’t leave enough timing in between bites and was busy looking stuff up on the internet.  There was my problem.  I had my portion before me…  so the portion control was down pat.  But, I was not paying close enough attention to HOW I was eating.

This is the first time this has happened in forever…  and it was 100% MY fault.  I’ve had the bread before, knew that wasn’t the issue.  But, the speed in which I had “downed it” was too fast.  Let me just say…  it sat hard on my chest like a boulder.  Then my mouth started to water, I could feel the intensity building until I thought I was going to vomit.  I kept breathing really slow, trying my best to keep the saliva and food inside my mouth and stomach instead of all over the desk.  You know the feeling?  You don’t really want to puke…  but know you would feel better if you did…  so you’re caught between a rock and a hard place, no pun intended.  Oh yes, it passed soon enough.  Never did vomit.  But you bet one thing… next time I sit down at the computer, I will make sure I stop what I am doing before eating the food I put before me.

It’s Sunday evening, almost 8:00.  The weekend is just about over and tomorrow begins another work week.  I had a pretty good time.  Yesterday I visited my friends at the weight loss surgery support luncheon at TGIFriday’s, many of whom I have not seen in a number of months (even over a year for a few).  It was wonderful to see their ending weight and not have to guess what they would look like “once the weight is gone”.  I miss my dear friends.  We’ve been through many sizes of clothes of together!  I remember seeing some just after their surgery, and now they are half the person they used to be, size wise that is.  It still inspires me!

Today I visited my parents.  When I got out of the car and walked towards their picnic table where they were sitting, I noticed my mother looked like she had a black eye.  I asked what happened, and of course she joked that my dad beat her up!  I knew better than that!  She said to look at the front bumper of her car on the passenger side.  I immediately thought she had been in an accident but there was no signs of damage.  Had she swerved to miss a dear, gone off the road and hit her head?  I had no idea…  upon closer examination, there was blood spatter on the bumper.  She said that the dog had gotten away from her last night, and she was rushing to get him.  Evidently she slipped on the driveway (its a slick type of concrete) and came crashing down on the bumper of her car.  She has quite a gash on her eyelid.  She said that her glasses caused that, and the earpiece on the right side stuck straight out, all bent out of shape, from her accident.  She laid there on the ground for a few minutes.  She doesn’t remember being conked out, but finally she rolled over and made her way up.  My goodness.  I felt just terrible for her.  I said she was getting a little older, and she has brittle bones anyway.  She’s got calcium and Vitamin D deficiencies, and I worry about osteoporosis at her age.  I tried to tell her that perhaps its time to give the dogs to someone else…  they are getting more than she can handle.  I doubt they will find a new home for the dogs, as they are near as family as I am! Hey, those “furbabies” get more presents at Christmas than I do!  At any rate, I worry about my parents.  I’m glad my brothers both live nearby her.

I finished the laundry.  Cleaned up my den, including the huge heap of clothes that I had draped over the comfy green velour chair.  I think it was getting on Tim’s nerves cause on the way home he asked “What are you doing tonight?”  I mentioned I had no plans, and he asked, “Will you do me a favor and clean up the green chair?”  Ok, I get the hint.  It didn’t take but ten minutes…  but that seems to be my favorite catch all for nylons, slacks, shirts, tank tops, shoes, hangers… you name it.  Besides, we don’t even sit in that room so I just see it this way:  I’m making use of it!  Uhhh that didn’t seem to be a very good logic.  By the way, the picture above is just ONE of my closets.  I also own half or more of Tim’s in the master bedroom.  All my pants are hanging in the laundry room cause I simply do not have enough storage area! The bad thing is, I have cleaned out THIS closet THREE times now and given bagfuls away!  (Do you see any you like? What size do you wear? 4? Maybe we can work out a trade.)

Since HE (Timothy) got his wish, that meant that I got something in return!?  Yes.  He shaved down the top of the bathroom door just a tad because the over the door towel/robe hanger prevented it from shutting.  Then he changed the light bulb in the night light ceiling fan.   Our work is done.   Was there anything exciting about YOUR weekend?  Leave me a comment!  I would love to hear from you.

Last night I stayed up entirely too late!  (Went to sleep a little after midnight)  But, I was chatting away in my new chatroom on the forums with another member.  I like getting to know people better and finding out about their journeys!  I was up at 6, cleaning house, doing laundry, oh all the fun joys of womanhood!

Today’s plan.  Tidy house enough for it to be presentable.  Have lunch with my gastric bypass support group.  Friends coming after support luncheon to do some computer work (got a new program, need help installing & figuring it out).  Then the rest is open.  Wide open.

This morning I sat in my living room.  Just sat there.  In total quiet.  No radio.  No television, though I flipped it on and then decided to see what “quiet” really was like.  I sat there looking out the front window, a squirrel was scurrying up the tree.  Leaves slightly moving in conjunction with the wind.  The world just outside my window seemed at peace too.  I decided it would be a great time to do some reflection.

These past few weeks I have been incredibly stressed at work.  Changes, more workload, and sometimes female problems just don’t make it any easier.  Tim played golf Thursday night.  On my way home that evening, I thought, “You know, Melinda…  you haven’t just sat down and had quiet time in awhile now.”  I had thoughts of shutting and locking the doors, putting on some spiritual praise and worship music, and just spend some time praying and reflecting.  Did I do it?  No.  Sadly, I did not.  Yesterday and last night as I talked with a few friends, all things spiritual seemed to pop back into the picture.  Sensitive to those needs and knowing their importance in my life, I decided TODAY (Saturday) IS THE DAY.  No one at home.  Missy (the dog) spent the night with Kobe and Foo Foo.  I sat and listened to the words of my favorite songs and let them comfort me.  I find solace and strength at this place.  I don’t go to it near as often as I should.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I don’t go to it very often but when I do, I am never disappointed.

Friends, can I just admit to you that today I feel about 30 lbs heavier than I did a month ago?  Oh, its not a physical weight, but its a weight of the inner man.  I guess you could call it “struggles”, “battles”, “turmoil”, “angst”, “anxiety”, whatever term you chose to use for it… I’ve got a heavy load on my heart lately.  And I have made a commitment.  Just as I rise every day and make a commitment to live that day towards my physical health, I am also making a commitment to start paying more attention towards spiritual health as well.  For, what would it matter how thin, how physically healthy, how great we look if on the inside, we ignore, neglect and even abuse the spiritual man?  I have found for me, that to avoid the maintenance and upkeep of my inner person only brings a gaping hole in my heart and it leaves me feeling empty, stressed, tired, and actually wandering aimlessly with no purpose.    I’ll leave you with this:  have the most wonderful weekend!