Archive for September, 2009

I’ve been a little upset these past few days.   Perhaps reflective is a better word.  And while contemplating what graphic to use in this blog, I decided to use one of my own before surgery pictures.  This was taken while I was trying to get approval from my insurance company (and was denied).  Even my official “before” picture which is taken from the front pose does not show the real magnitude of how large my stomach was.  Here, this photo shows the size.  I found it awhile back and it just appalled/amazed/astonished me all at the same time!

Anyway, back to the post.  I know two people who had weight loss surgery, a male and a female.  Both are gaining weight.  I saw a picture of one a few days ago.  I haven’t seen her in a very long time.  And, I had to ask the person who showed me the pictures if that really is who I thought.  And, next I verified that the pictures were taken RECENTLY.  The wls person looked very large, so large in fact that I would have believed this picture to be one of her “before surgery” or “shortly after surgery” photographs!!

I am very upset by this.  I love both of these individuals very much,and want to see them succeed.  My wishes for every single person who undergoes ANY type of plan or program to lose weight is that they will be successful.  And, keep it off.  I think that’s because I believe that you get what you give.  So if I GIVE thoughts of well wishes from others on their success, perhaps I will RECEIVE well wishes for my success from others.  Wishful thinking, I know.  I just want to give out positive and not negative, encouragement and not discouragement.

So these folks are gaining.  It makes me very sad.  I know that I too could end up gaining my weight back.  I’m not going to bury my head in the sand or say “That will never be me!”  Reality is, I have a food addiction.  I am a recovering fatty.  I used to be obese on the outside, but still in a lot of ways I am STILL obese on the inside.  I don’t judge anyone who is gaining weight, for in that same measure that I judge, I too will be judged one day (and Lord please don’t let me have to say I gained a lot of weight back and that’s why I will be judged! Please Lord help me maintain my weight loss).  *Never hurts to say a prayer in the mix of things!  Yet, I know that its all ON ME.  Whether I am successful or go back to the way I once was depends on my choices, my circumstances…  it’s all me.  Where the rubber meets the road, here I am on the journey of maintaining.

Still…  back to my friends.  One believes that as long as they can still eat just half of a normal meal, then things must be ok.  The other person struggles with emotional problems, depression, has a long history of mental instability.  I am convinced that there are some demons in our lives that we need help with…  and if we don’t dig deep and resolve those issues, whether on our own or with the help of a counselor, then it is possible to end up in the same place we were before having surgery…  obese.  I hope that both these individuals are able to receive the help they need.  Furthermore, I look at the picture of myself above and I hope, pray and work diligent not to go back to the person in that photograph.  “Dear Lord, help me.  Please help me so that I don’t return to that state.  It was an unhappy one for me.”

Highlights of the trip:  laying at the pool, visiting the ocean, taking pictures at the pier, eating out Lambert’s, and we visited an aviation museum (this was the most boring part… Tim enjoyed it.  I however, did NOT).  Mostly, the trip was spent just relaxing.  I did get online every day and check in to my favorite forums, didn’t post a whole lot.  Vacation is always great, but I appreciate home (especially MY bed) a lot more when I return.   Here is the “biggie” of the trip.  It’s a photograph of a shark.  We visited the new pier at Gulf Shores and there were several “serious” fishermen out.  One started to pull his line, and Mike happened to look over the edge to try to see what he caught.  He hollered, “It’s a shark!”  So I ran quickly and snapped this shot.  IT REALLY WAS A SHARK.  He got away thankfully.  I have no idea how on earth the guy would have ever got him out.  I mean, HOW DOES one really reel in a shark?

Another favorite time was taking pictures underneath the pier. Tim figured out how to do the timer last time so that we could all get in the photo (I <3 MY TRIPOD!). Here we all are:  Tim, Melinda, Mikey!

There were some great pictures, but this is the most fun of all.  It’s of Mike.  I talked him into walking out to the next set of concrete pillars, which meant he had to stand IN the water.  I didn’t tell him that a huge wave was coming, and of course you can see his back was away from the water.  He never saw it coming!

We returned home yesterday from vacation.  I was soooo sad.  I honestly wish that we could have stayed another week.  Seems like the last day I finally figured out HOW to relax while laying out in the sun.  Work a good wordfind.  By the way, I worked one word find and could not locate “aircraft”.  Tim & Mike both searched and could not locate it.  Someone came up with the bright idea to look at the answers at the end, and guess what?  The find a word folks misspelled it!  They spelled it “aixcraft”.  So, what a sick joke to play on someone…  the last word, racing away to find the very last word…  and nothing.  Nada, zero, zilch.  Similarities yes.  Matches no.  It should come with a question at the bottom in fine print:  “What word is NOT located inside this find a word puzzle?” and I could have answered!  AIRCRAFT!

Anyway…  vacation is over.  We cleaned house before we left, so coming home with no messes was terrific.  I slept wonderful in my own bed, even went to bed around 9:00 pm.  I slept all night long.  Even Missy slept good.  She barely moved.  She was so glad we were back home, and has followed me around the house all day long, fearing that we would leave again.  This morning I cleaned out the fridge, took out trash, went to breakfast and then did grocery shopping.  We always use vacation as a good “marker” point as to cleaning out old stuff from the house.  I’m about to go through the cabinets, organize, and DECARB them.  I don’t know how so much junk gets in…  I mean, I do not eat Chex Mix.  So how on earth does it get into my cupboards?  Perhaps the carb monster comes to visit while we are asleep or away from home?  At any rate, he is about to be banned.  My nephew lives with me and he’s 18.  He doesn’t eat that crap either!  At any rate, time to go through, gather it all up into a box, and send it far far away… I know a few coworkers who love this stuff, and it’s free.  That about wraps it all up.  Tomorrow is work day again.  I’m trying not to dwell on it right now.

I’m the world’s cheapest tightwad.  I don’t spend money on stamps.  I usually just get online to pay bills.  I don’t ever send postcards when I am on vacation.  But, I have found the perfect fix!  And, one that will keep my friends and family happy with me!  I’m away on vacation right now, but here is a postcard just for you!  I will return later in the week so stay tuned for more pictures and stories.