Several months ago, I made a comment to this effect: “I would rather gain a little weight and be happy, than be rail thin and not able to enjoy life.” PMDD and depression continued to wear me down until I didn’t want to live like that anymore. I asked my doctor for an anti-depressant (in addition to the one I was already taking).
Eventually, I was prescribed Zoloft (which helps a low seratonin level). The doctor originally gave me 50 mg tablets. I was to take 100 mg a day, and due to the malabsorption issues and fear that I would not absorb properly, I asked the pharmacist if it would be acceptable to take 50 mg in the morning, 50 mg in the afternoon. My doctor also agreed that this would be ok.
I did try taking the 100 mg in the morning, and maybe it was just me? But, I noticed an urge to eat. REALLY EAT, all day long. That only lasted about 3 days! I resorted back to 50 mg twice daily.
About three weeks ago, I had a follow up medicine check. The doctor said really, there was not a benefit of halving the doses and taking them twice daily. Why don’t I go ahead and start taking just one dose of 100 mg? He seemed pretty confident, so… I figured why not? One 100 mg pill is better than two 50 mg pills anyway! It sounded like a good plan to me – in theory!
Suddenly, it seemed as if overnight (NO LIE), my stomach was bloated and I had gained 8.5 lbs which I blogged about the other day. As a former fatty, I did what I’ve always done: TAKE THE BLAME, figured it was just my overeating which has begun as of late.
Then, the more I gave it thought (and continued to feel such unhappiness and discontent due to the gain), I backtracked the past few weeks worth of events. I have TRIED unsuccessfully to get rid of this urge and habit of snacking all the day long. I cannot get it under control no matter how hard I try!
I finally said to Tim: “We need to discuss something. My medicine – I think I need to stop taking it. I think it is causing these food cravings/obsession. Originally, I thought I could handle any weight gain as long as I felt better.” He agreed that I CANNOT HANDLE THE WEIGHT GAIN! Zoloft may UNdepress me…. but weight gain will REdepress me!
When I shared this with my WLS email support group, another lady also said that the EXACT same struggle has been happening to her by the increase to 100 mg of Zoloft in a one day dose. HALLELUJAH! I have said it before, and continue to hold fast to the belief… we as wls folks MUST be very aware of our health situations, and pay close attention to the medications we are given. If not, then it is possible that weight regain occurs. Sometimes, adjustments can be made.
During a 17 minute tanning bed visit, I devised a plan. The medication has really helped me, and it would not be beneficial to discontinue use. Conclusion #1: I could revert back to 50 mg twice daily as it did not cause poor eating tendencies. #2 – I can attempt just one 50 mg dose per day. Yesterday, I accidentally left my meds at home. Therefore, didn’t have any medicine until late in the afternoon when returning home. Guess what? I HAD 100% CONTROL OVER MY EATING. No desire to snack. No pre-occupation with food. It convinced me that the medication IS the culprit!
My assessment of the situation is: I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH to face regain. At least, not yet. Maybe, not ever.
You have your answers…pay attention to your body…noone…not one doctor, knows it better than YOU…Now, having said that, I wouldn’t let depression consume you either….but I’m not strong enough to face re gain either…NOT ever!….I take nothing for depression but I have the strong desire to nibble all day long…I must get a handle on this or I’m definitely gonna have re gain!
When I had to change my pants because they were too tight, I felt such a sense of disgust. I was frustrated! Angry! Almost to the point of being beside myself as the old saying goes. Then I had to get hold of myself… and say “ok, let’s devise a plan…” I did lose 1.5 lbs since my original weigh in….
People don’t realize all that we have to go through and one little pound will make us go insane…I mean we have gone through so much to take the weight off and to even think of a re gain is unmentionable…
Congrats on losing and doing what is right for you…
Berrigirl
Berrigirl… I was going to add a few more thoughts to my blog this morning, but figured it was long enough! I am sure that some *unWLS* folks would read this and think, “You sound like you have an eating disorder… a problem with food.” DUH! Yes, hello? I was severely obese for the majority of my adult life. Of course I had a problem with food! But just because the weight is gone, does not mean that my inner problems with food are gone. I still struggle with it, and also the fears of regain. From what I have seen among others (if not all) within our ranks, that exact same frame of mind is present. Can a person blame us for having to be so self aware, mindful of our issues? It would just take ONE “fall off the wagon” episode to throw us on the road towards obesity once again. We have to be mindful! And heck, no wonder we have fear….