Posts Tagged ‘PMDD’

Jun
14/10

Choose.

Last Updated on Monday, 14 June 2010 09:52
Written by Melinda
Monday, June 14th, 2010

Choices, choices! Sometimes they seem so small. Yet, have a larger impact when you look at the BIG PICTURE. At times, we step out on a limb and make a choice that we know could have repercussions just because we are at a point of desperation and are willing to try anything! Such is the case with me and Zoloft. And Cymbalta. And Wellbutrin. And Lexapro. Need I say more?

I must admit. Zoloft seemed to really help me. Sure I feel sleepy during the day sometimes. But at night, I sleep much more sound and uninterrupted. The week before my period, I don’t seem to be a bear (or a biotch). I feel sane. And happier. And more able to think clearly. And much nicer to be around (even for me to be around myself!).

But the weight gain. It is really plaguing my mind. At the same time… I keep thinking “I’ll do something about it tomorrow.” Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. In the past, I’d put on five pounds, do what I had to do in order to get it off. But these days, I am happy! I am living life! I am enjoying myself… who wants to stop for a diet? NOT ME. So I keep putting off the “do something right now” actions.

I tried to go off Zoloft the past few days. Today. I am crazy feeling again. Irritable. Moody. Angry. Feeling like a whirlwind. Can’t concentrate. Nothing seems to be going easy or right. So I bit the bullet… and took the Zoloft. It brought me to a conclusion. I am destined to be one of two things, and it is up to me to decide. I can be either:

a. Crazy – stop taking the medications that help me feel sane, but I’d keep the weight off!

b. Fat – continue the medications which make it difficult for me to lose weight, actually promotes weight gain! Yet… those emotional feelings of despair would be gone.

Which do I chose? I am going to speak with my doctor… who really believes that no medications cause weight gain. He simply says its a matter of diet. (Some truth. Then again… it’s not entirely fair to lay it all back on the patient if they fail).

The choice is MINE… all mine. Today’s weight: 140.4 (this is the first time since wls that I have gone up above 140). I want to cry.

Tags: anti-depressants, fear of regain, hormones, PMDD, Weight gain | Posted under Health Issues |

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May
13/10

Old Country

Last Updated on Thursday, 13 May 2010 08:51
Written by Melinda
Thursday, May 13th, 2010

Every time I pass this barn on my way home from Mike’s house, I swear to myself “One day, I will stop and take a picture.” That, of course, was 2 months ago. I finally did it Monday night. The road is not traveled a lot yet (it’s fairly new), so I cautiously slowed to the side until I found just the right angle.

I pushed the electric window button and then leaned out to take this picture. Tim was working overtime and I texted him a message: “I finally took a picture of that old barn.” His response: “It’s about time!” It’s actually the first time I have taken a serious photo this year (or gone out of my way to purposefully photograph something of interest). I decided a good title for this would be “Old Country”. Scott (Bald is Beautiful) touched it up with a sky but I can’t get it loaded…

These past several months, I’m noticing slight changes every week in how I feel. I started on Cymbalta but then was moved to Zoloft and it seems to be working very well for my low seratonin level problem. It got to the place where Tim had to almost DRAG me to Mike’s house to visit the kids (furbabies) and Mike. I just didn’t want to leave the house and was tired ALL the time. Depression had taken its ugly toll on me, but I didn’t realize just how much – until just a few days ago.

I was shopping at Goodwill (I go every day, just about) and the realization came to me… “I’m feeling better these days! I’m getting out, more like myself.” I still have days that are not what I want them to be. I won’t call them “bad days” because they are much better than the best days I had while in depression! I’m glad to be back closer to normal than I was.

Tags: anti-depressants, anxiety, depression, PMDD | Posted under Health Issues |

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Mar
31/10

Dose Of Mental Health

Last Updated on Wednesday, 31 March 2010 02:29
Written by Melinda
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

It’s been a month since I started the new anti-depressant medication. I had an appointment on Monday with the doctor and explained that I had some side effects but also, that last week I had my period and it was among the easiest I’ve had in a VERY long time. He said that Cymbalta has noriphenephrine (sp?) in it, which can cause some jitteryness, insomnia and other side effects. And, switched me to another medication. I will start taking it today, and hopefully it will do well.

Yesterday, I took a day off from work so that I could do a few things regarding my car: tires rotated/balanced, oil change, tested at emissions, and renew my car tags. As I was at the tire place, I thumbed through a magazine and found a really neat outfit in a magazine. Here it is. I think it’s really cute, and I already had a few pieces that I felt would go with it. One thing that I did NOT have, however, were the white jeans. I only have a few pair of white slacks and they are not something that I enjoy wearing. White always made me feel like I stood out in a crowd, and also caused me to look HUGE! I’m still not a fan and mentally, I still feel fat when I wear white pants! Anyway… the outfit was just too cute so I looked high and low until I found just the right pair of white jeans ($9.99 I want to add!).

I tried a blazer that was more of a dressy material, and it just did not work. It did not show enough of the striped blouse. So I poked around at the area Goodwill (2 of them) until I found a nice Express black blazer for 7.99 (which is the popular boy blazer style). Ooops, let’s not forget the black boots which I picked up at Walmart for $11! The entire outfit (after calculating everything I had and paid for it all) was just shy of $32. I take pride in the fact that I am a thrifty shopper.

Overall, I enjoyed the day and the weather here in Nashville was sunny and just a little cool breeze. Ah… shopping always makes me feel better! Or, maybe its just the anti depressant? Who knows?!

Tags: depression, PMDD | Posted under Blah, Blah, Blog |

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Jan
26/10

Last Tuesday

Last Updated on Tuesday, 26 January 2010 08:12
Written by Melinda
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

I liked this picture; it explained how I feel sometimes. Especially given the past few months when daily life consisted of bitchiness, moaning and groaning because of cramps, depression, feelings of despair. That Mirena really did some numbers on me!

It was exactly one month ago tomorrow that I had Mirena removed. Last Tuesday, I started getting a little anxious AND biotchy again. I was in the living room working on the internet, Tim asked me something, I jumped through my teeth at him. And, I immediately thought, “Gosh, where did that come from?” I had to apologize to him because the truth was, I just felt so daggone jittery, irritable. I had been feeling so much better! It was getting close to my period, so I decided to take the advice of my PCP. I snatched the Lexapro bottle out of the closet (I no longer take it, but am on Wellbutrin) and took half a pill before going to bed (5 mg). The next morning, I took another half. For the next three days, I took half a pill in the morning, half at night. It seemed to help my anxiety. This is how I was originally told several years ago to take the Lexapro to help symptoms of PMDD.

Friday came. I felt crampy. Saturday, oh garsh! It was even worse. Sunday, and I was in the bed until 2:00. Monday came, and I was STILL cramping! This period seemed to be the worst I’ve experienced in quite awhile, perhaps a year and a half. I hardly had a flow while on Mirena. Oh yes, I had cramps but not for four days!! From what I have read, the first period after Mirena removal is the worst. I’m feeling more like myself today. I am noticing a huge change in my behavior and personality.

This is no lie… or exaggeration. But, my tolerance to stress was horrible. Anything & everything just set me off, sometimes to the point of swearing/profanity. I hate to admit that, but PMS/PMDD sure changed my behavior. I could not handle frustration or stress at all. My nerves were on edge 24/7. I felt a knot in my gut all the time, and sometimes I felt as if I couldn’t fully catch my breath. Those feelings appear to be gone. I still have a residual headache, but it has decreased by 98%.

Life seems to becoming a little more “normal” for this PCOS’er.

Tags: anxiety, depression, Mirena removal, PMDD | Posted under Health Issues |

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